Toasting a drink is a tradition that spans the globe, bringing people together in moments of celebration, camaraderie and even remembrance. Whether it’s raising a glass at a wedding, celebrating a business deal or simply enjoying a night out with friends, the act of toasting has become an ingrained social custom in many cultures. Each language and region has its own way of expressing this gesture of goodwill, often encapsulated in a single word or phrase. Let’s look at the myriad of reasons why should you look people in the eye when you toast a drink.
A brief history of toasting
In English-speaking countries, we commonly say “Cheers!” to wish good health and happiness. The French say “Santé,” which translates directly to “health,” while the Germans opt for “Prost,” a term that stems from the Latin word prosit, meaning “may it be good.” In Italy, “Salute” is the term of choice, once again focusing on health. Over in Japan, you’ll hear “Kanpai,” which means “dry your cup,” a nod to finishing the drink in one go. Even in languages as diverse as Russian, where people say “Na zdorov’ye,” and Swedish, with “Skål,” the sentiment remains consistent: a gesture of goodwill and a wish for good health, prosperity or success.
The eye contact of toasting
However, there’s one custom that often accompanies a toast that might not be as obvious: making direct eye contact with the person you are toasting with. It’s a small gesture but one that is considered significant by many people around the world. But why is looking into each other’s eyes so important during a toast?
Why eye gaze is important when making a toast
The tradition of toasting dates back to ancient times, with some of the earliest recorded instances in Ancient Greece and Rome. The act of raising a glass to someone’s health has always been a gesture of respect, friendship and goodwill. Over time, various customs have been added to the ritual of toasting, and making direct eye contact is one of them. Here’s why many believe eye contact is a crucial part of the tradition:
1. It shows respect
- Why it matters: When you look someone in the eye while making a toast, it demonstrates that you are paying attention and respecting the significance of the moment. It shows that you are fully present and engaged in the gesture, rather than simply going through the motions.
- Description: Eye contact has long been associated with honesty and sincerity. In many cultures, failing to make eye contact can be perceived as rude or dismissive. By making an effort to look someone in the eye during a toast, you are showing that you value their presence and the occasion you are sharing.
2. It symbolises trust
- Why it matters: The tradition of looking someone in the eye when toasting is said to have roots in the medieval practice of ensuring trustworthiness. During this time, poisoning was a common tactic among enemies, and a toast was a way to show that the drink was safe.
- Description: The eye contact made during a toast was believed to be a way of proving you were not trying to deceive the other person. It was a gesture that said, “I have no ill intentions.” While this may no longer be a concern today, the act of making eye contact still carries a symbolic gesture of trust and honesty.
3. It’s said to prevent bad luck
- Why it matters: In many cultures, there is a superstition that if you do not look someone in the eye when clinking glasses, it could bring bad luck, especially in the context of romantic relationships.
- Description: In some European traditions, not making eye contact during a toast is said to lead to “seven years of bad sex.” While this might sound amusing, it’s a lighthearted way of emphasising the importance of connecting with the people you are toasting with. Superstitions like these often serve as a reminder of the deeper significance of a shared moment.
4. It enhances the connection between people
- Why it matters: Eye contact is one of the most powerful forms of non-verbal communication. It can help create a bond between individuals, making the moment of the toast more meaningful.
- Description: When you look someone in the eye, it creates a sense of intimacy and shared experience. It’s a way of acknowledging the presence and importance of the other person. In group settings, making eye contact with everyone as you toast can help strengthen the feeling of unity and togetherness.
5. It encourages mindfulness
- Why it matters: In today’s fast-paced world, it’s easy to get caught up in distractions, even during social gatherings. Making eye contact during a toast encourages you to slow down and be fully present in the moment.
- Description: The act of pausing to look someone in the eye reminds us to take a moment to appreciate the people we are with and the occasion we are celebrating. It’s a small gesture that can make a big difference in how connected we feel to those around us.
6. It adds to the ritualistic nature of toasting
- Why it matters: Rituals have long been a part of human culture, and toasting is no exception. The act of clinking glasses and making eye contact adds a layer of formality and ceremony to the occasion.
- Description: Including eye contact in the ritual of toasting makes the experience feel more deliberate and meaningful. It’s a way of acknowledging that this is a special moment, worthy of a shared, intentional gesture.
7. It’s simply polite
- Why it matters: In many social situations, making eye contact is considered a basic form of politeness. It shows that you are acknowledging the other person and that you are engaged in the interaction.
- Description: Just as you would make eye contact when shaking someone’s hand or greeting them, looking into their eyes when you toast shows that you are respecting the social norms and traditions of the occasion.
Final thoughts
The custom of toasting drinks has been a cherished ritual in almost all societies around the world, serving as a way to bring people together in both times of joy and sadness. Whether it’s celebrating a wedding, commemorating a lost loved one or simply enjoying a night out with friends, toasting is a way to acknowledge the importance of the moment and the people you are sharing it with.
Looking someone in the eye when you toast is a small yet powerful gesture that can enhance the experience. It adds a layer of sincerity, trust, and connection that makes the moment more meaningful. In a world where distractions are everywhere, taking a moment to make eye contact during a toast is a way of being fully present and appreciating the people you are with. It’s a reminder of the shared humanity and the bonds that bring us together.
So the next time you raise your glass, remember to make that eye contact. It’s more than just a tradition; it’s a way of truly connecting with the people around you and showing that you value the shared experience.
